Giant Terrible Things

There are some things I can control.

The heat of the curry,

The fullness of the recycling bin,

The number of unanswered emails in my inbox.

 

When I exert my influence over these

Tiny, insignificant things,

The suffocating weight of the giant, terrible, spirit-crushing things

I cannot control sometimes subsides.

 

Sometimes.

 

I want to take an axe and hack something completely to pieces.

I want to pulverize a vase into dust with a sledge hammer and

Slap my own face blue and

Scream profane, hurtful words until my vocal cords

Are as raw as the rest of me.

 

I want to decide, I want to be powerful.

And when you take that away from me

It makes me feel like nothing.

 

Which is, in fact, the opposite of what I am.

 

So I will dust, I will fold, I will wash,

Until I open my eyes and see

Myself again.

 

There are some things I can control.

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~ by ettaqueen on September 10, 2014.

One Response to “Giant Terrible Things”

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