My Long Distance Relations

I’ve started to compile
A list of things to tell you,
And all my long distance relations,
On the occasion when next we speak.
This canary-colored square
Is the only diary
I have ever kept. 

I find that I am increasingly unwilling
To be satiated by these brief interludes
Where my effervescent love
Is sucked into the black hole
Of the microphone
And hurled into space
Before finally reaching you. 

But part of us is lost,
Gets trapped in the wires and currents
The endless stream of ones and the zeroes
That have become our only means of communicating. 

When you cry I want to hold you,
To take you in my arms but
Instead I try folding you into the embrace of my voice.
When I’m proud of you, or happy,
I smile and hope that you can hear
The upturned corners of my mouth—
Ultimately, though,
All this emoting wears me out. 

Being so far from you
Is exhausting.
I feel stretched, like a piece of chewed bubble gum,
Pulled between two curious fingers,
Just before it tears. 

And still I write.
I’m not sure how to wake up tomorrow without you
And so pencil sets to paper like chisel to stone,
A heart beat with every stroke.
But when the night grows long, a nagging voice
Suggests I may be crazy
To plan my day around a smudgy list that I jot
On a sticky, yellow page.

 It makes me wonder.


~ by ettaqueen on April 24, 2012.

One Response to “My Long Distance Relations”

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